i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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