the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
