did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
