dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's shark week go big or go home
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
