Fuck appropriateness.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
