Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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