if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
