Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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