I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
