Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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