Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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