Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
