So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
