Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
