maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
well you can't waste a boner
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
