I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
