roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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