And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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