he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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