This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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