i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
