also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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