Non-Jews are for practice
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My vagina just recognized that song.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
