The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
