I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
