ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
