when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
