dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
