Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
