i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I understand Curling. That high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
