yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
