I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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