you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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