I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
