oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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