I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I look better un-naked...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
