do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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