that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
