so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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