Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
