Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
