It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
