Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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