woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
