if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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