Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
