I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
