I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
