i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
