There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
