I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
